Wedding 101

A special thanks to Melissa of MasterPiece Weddings for preparing this wonderful content.

Day of Coordinator

There is a lot of controversy going around as to hire or not to hire someone to help you on your wedding day… and I wonder why.


Let me clarify, we are a wedding planning company in Gainesville, Florida. That is what we do…that’s all we do. Full Planning. Day Of. We’ll plan anything, anywhere. Anything on the Planet we can Plan It! But I digress.

Why do you need a Day of Coordinator, Month of Coordinator- whatever you call it… someone to help you on the day of or month of your wedding. You have your wedding planned, your contracted with all of your wedding vendors. Now what? You don't want your mom or Bestie to be running around making sure your details are handled....

• Who is going to organize your wedding day, create your schedule for the day of your wedding, go over your contracts, make sure you and your fiancé – your mom can be guests at your party!

• Who is going to open the door for you right before you walk down the aisle… hint – NOT your mom, she’s already seated.

• Who is going to take care of THAT drunk guest at your wedding, that just so happens to be a prominent judge and is making a fool of himself and pulling down his pants on the dance floor – hint, NOT your mom!

• Who is going to inform your caterer that they didn’t include the green beans on the buffet, or make sure your 2 Vegan guests can't be served a vegetarian meal… hint- NOT your mom!

I know you said that your fiancé can be the “point” man for your wedding day, but really, when it comes time to cut the cake, and you want 20 more minutes to mingle with your friends before, is he going to stop mingling to inform the caterer, the photographer, the videographer, the DJ or Band that you need more time, because by the time he does that, you’ll need another 40 minutes. Because he just wasted 20 informing everyone.

That’s our job, we do all of that and SO MUCH more, really… it’s worth the money…. I promise!

Does that make more sense as to what a wedding planner will be doing on the day of your wedding?

Food for Thought – Hiring your Caterer

Were you thinking of using a family friend or new small local business to cater your wedding?

Think again!

Even though you may save money using one of these outlets, your reception will not have the same quality as it would if you had a professional wedding caterer. When hiring any vendor for your wedding, make sure they have wedding experience because it’s completely different from any other celebration.

The caterer needs to be able to adhere to the strict timeline and work quickly and efficiently so the guests are never wondering why it is taking so long to get a glass of water or their next course of the meal. It’s important to have the very best service on your special day!!

Here are some questions you should ask before hiring a caterer:

1. Have they ever catered a wedding before? (sounds like a stupid question, but you will be surprised…)

2. What is their price range? Are costs itemized depending on the foods you choose, or is there an all-inclusive flat rate? What would that include (linens, tax, gratuities, etc.)? Does the caterer have printed price sheets for food selections?

3. Will the caterer provide tables, chairs, plates, table linens, silverware, salt-and-pepper shakers, and more? Ask to see these items to make sure they're acceptable. Do you have to rent tables, place settings, and/or other equipment or will they arrange for the rentals?

4. Who is the main contact? Will the same person you work with when planning also oversee meal service on the day of the party? (You want this to be the case.) And what will their role me that day, will they be a server or supervisor!

5. Is the caterer working any other events or parties on the same weekend, on the same day, or at the same time as yours? (You want to be sure they will devote sufficient attention to you. You may want to pass on a smaller outfit who indicates they have another job or two scheduled for that day.)

6. Will the caterer provide wait staff? If so, what will they be wearing? Have those servers EVER served before?

7. Will the caterer be willing to include a recipe you provide, like a special family dish, or an appetizer with some sort of sentimental significance? Can they prepare vegetarian or kosher meals for some of your guests if needed?

8. Where will the food be prepared? Are there on-site facilities, or do you, the caterer, and the site manager need to make additional arrangements? If the caterer must bring in his or her own equipment, is there an additional fee?

9. Does the caterer have a license? (This means the business has met health department standards and has liability insurance -- make sure this includes a liquor license if you're having a bar.)

10. Can the caterer provide alcohol? Or can you handle the bar separately? If you can provide it, is there a corkage fee? How and when do you get the alcohol to the caterer?

I am not saying that a brand new caterer is not hire-able, but I want you to know what you are getting into, everyone has to start someone, and having a game plan is a great place to start!

Tipping and Gratuity

This week a bunch of my clients have been asking about gratuity. So I figured they probably aren't the only ones with these questions. I am going to dedicate the rest of the week to tipping your wedding vendors.

So, you feel pretty confident that you've completed calculating costs for the big day. But wait -- before you close that budget binder, did you remember to include tips? Technically, no one should expect tips, but many vendors might, since tipping has become standard practice.

Depending on where you're getting married, the protocol will vary. Here is a simple rule of the thumb: most of the time you tip employees, not owners. Don't add pressure to your wedding day -- designate someone to be in charge of tipping. The host of the event (often a dad) or the wedding consultant is the perfect person for the job. Several of my clients give me a bunch of white envelopes, and tell me to definitely give these out to "so and so" or tell me to use my discretion.

Advance Prep
The last thing you want at the end of your reception is someone having to count out cash when offering the tips. Set aside pre-determined amounts beforehand and place them in labeled envelopes. This way, your gratuity guy or gal simply has to hand over the designated envelopes, leaving little room for error. Having an additional envelope with a bit more cash is not a bad idea either -- that way, if the bill is higher than expected, or someone really went the extra mile for you or a guest, you can be sure to take care of it right then and there.

Get the 411
Before you just start dolling out money, however, find out about the tipping policies. Talk to the hotel or club manager at your reception site to see how tips are normally handled. Also find out if a service charge is included in the total on your bill. If so, you don't need to offer an additional tip. Remember, it's completely acceptable to have these kinds of conversations with your vendors, preferably at the time you sign a contract, rather than the day of the wedding. You can only know what people are expecting if you ask them.

Are we Lost- Directions to your Ceremony

So now that you know the order you walk down the aisle in, where do you go from there?

I made this little football play sheet to show you who's where - for a Christian Style ceremony. This shows who's side is whom's, and the line of sight, which is important because you don't want to block any one's view of the ceremony.

A few things to keep in mind, bridal party always watches the ceremony, so while people are walking down the aisle, they watch that, then pivot slightly to watch the ceremony, etc. This way everyone is  always at the same angle.

A little hint, at the point during the ceremony when the bride has to hand her bouquet over to the Maid of Honor. I also ask the Maid of Honor to put her arm out slightly so the bride can see it in her peripheral vision. And she can then remember, OH I need to give my bouquet to someone so my soon-to-be husband can hold both my hands. It makes a prettier dance. I think.

Who’s on First?

For some reason I've been asked very recently quite a bit the order that you are supposed to walk down the aisle - WARNING - Shameless Plug Ahead - if you were to hire us, we'd handle this for you.

But for those of you that are unable, here you go, the first ones to walk down the aisle in a Non-Denominational Ceremony or a Traditional Christian Ceremony goes something like this:

Any Special People in your lives, Aunts, Uncles, God-Parents; followed by
GrandParents of the Groom
GrandParents of the Bride
Parents of the Groom
Mother of the Bride
Followed by:

Legend:
GM - Groomsmen
BM- Bridesmaids
MOH- Maid of Honor
RB- Ring Bearer
FG- Flower Girl
FOB- Father of the Bride
B- Bride

Who’s on First in a Synagogue?

So for a Jewish Ceremony things are done a little differently - however, some Christians have adapted some of the typically Jewish traditions to their ceremony. I think it's nice because the Jewish traditions really show how much family is involved in your lives.

A little explanation:

• The Rabbi (R) walks down first, sometimes with the Cantor (C) which is optional, but a nice touch, the Cantor usually sings down the aisle and it's really beautiful!
• The Cantor is followed by the Groomsmen (GM) either in single file or together in pairs. Then the Bestman (BM2) is next.
• The Father of the Groom (FOG) along with the Groom (G) and the Mother of the Groom (MOG) are next -all together.
• The Bridesmaids (BM) are next again, either single file or together. Followed by the Maid of Honor (MOH).
• Then the Ring Bearer (RB) and Flowergirl (FG) either together (which I think is totally cute) or separately. Either way is totally fine!
• Then the Father of the Bride (FOB) the Bride (B) and the Mother of the Bride (MOB).

All of the family members stand under the huppah (Jewish wedding canopy) which can be made from an Indian sari, or any kind of fabric that covers the bride and groom and their families. Just make sure that the creation will not offend any of the guests.
The bridal party doesn't usually stand underneath the huppah, but stands to the sides.

Hints on the Science of Cake Tasting

I love cake! I mean I seriously LOVE CAKE! So when a client asks me what to look for in a cake, I take that very seriously... probably too seriously. Nahhh... it's cake!

How do you taste a cake to make sure that you love it, that it's everything you want it to be, especially your wedding cake!?!?

That's a great question, and I am so glad you asked!

We've actually talked about MasterPiece Weddings and how we do cake tastings for our clients. But let's talk about the actual tasting part.

First, look at the cake, does it look pretty... even if it's just a slice of cake. Is it crumbly or is it a nice moist piece of cake.

Second, check out the filling, is it pretty and glossy... if its fruit, does it look like the fruit it's supposed to be... if it's Strawberry and Cream, does it look like it?

Now you can taste it... but wait!

Taste the filling first, do you like it, is it tasty?

Taste the cake next... Yummy? Moist? Delicious?

Taste the frosting next... what do you think? Too Sweet? Grainy? Deliciously perfect?

Now taste them all together! How do they taste all together, perfect? Be thinking about how the flavors meld in your mouth, do you like the way they all come together?

It should!

That is my idea of the perfect cake tasting!

Now bring on the coffee!

Formal Place Setting

So call me OCD, call me what you will. But when I am invited to someone's house for a dinner party, I attack the dining room table in a very indiscreet way - slowly and methodically placing the sliverware where it is supposed to be. And moving the glasses and bread plates to their proper position. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't do it, but I just want things done properly.

My husband thinks it's ridiculous. But I just have a thing for the proper placement of flatware and china.

I personally feel people just don't know, they were never educated in what breadplate to use or let alone where it was supposed to be. In Blueprint magazine recently they had a layout as to where things go.

And please for the love of all that is holy - don't put the napkin in a glass, it might look pretty. But it leaves lint behind, and the last thing you want in your wine is lint.

Budget Planning Made Simple

It's so hard to make sure that your wedding, remains YOUR wedding. There are so many people whispering in your ear - you should do this, you should try that - or maybe you'd like this, we did it!

It's hard to keep what you want, well - what you want. I suggest making a list of thing things that are important to you. If it's having a specific flower that normally isn't available that time of year, but it needs to flown in from Holland - you might need to sacrifice something to make that happen.
 
 First work on your budget, no matter how small or large your budget is- it's still a matter of how much you have to work with. This will assist you with what vendors you will work with. If you have a budget of $10,000 and you love a photographers whose packages start at $7,000 - you may need to adjust your priorities. Keep in mind that traditionally about 50% of your budget will go towards food and venue for your reception.

Something old....Something New...

If I had a six pence for every time I was asked what these things signify I'd be rich (how much is a six pence worth anyway?) So here is just one example of what each of the "somethings" is meant to mean. I think it will satisfy any of your queries.
And why something blue, anyway?

Something Old... Signifies a sense of continuity and tradition. It represents the link to the bride's old life and her family. Many brides would wear their mother's wedding gown or family jewelry.

Something New... Signifies hope for the future. The bridal gown can be used here, if it's purchased new - or any other new item purchased as part of the bridal attire.

Something Borrowed... You're supposed to borrow something for a friend who is happily married. Their happiness will wear off on you and bring you happiness too! Brides can borrow jewelry or a special handkerchief from a family member or close friend.

Something Blue...Signifies fidelity, purity, and love. This is why you see so many garters with blue ribbon or detailing!

A Silver Sixpence in your Shoe... Signifies wealth, both financially and a wealth of happiness and joy.

What's in The Name?

Okay, so I am THAT person. Seriously! It took me 11 years to change my name from Miss Maiden Name to Mrs. Married Name. I can't give you all of the excuses, because my husband was all for me hyphenating... or keeping my last name.

There was no pressure to change who I was. But the thought of all of that trouble, changing my credit cards and my library card, and my blockbuster card, and my driver's license, Social Security Card, my Passport, I guess it just seemed daunting.

But now there is Maiden Name Change.com the easiest way to change your name! They even fill in the forms for you! I mean, HELLO how easy can that be!

It's affordable and they help you every step of the way! They'll give you a list of activities, simple and friendly reminders - and you can make sure not to miss a step - like that voter's registration card that got forgotten (yeah, I didn't realize that until today...oops!)

I wish this was around when we got married!!!

Buff Brides!

It's not easy getting buff - I know this! I've been working out, doing yoga, and eating right for 6 months, and I've lost about 20 pounds. That's good - I know, but it's not easy.

You want to look good for your wedding, and not just good, but the best you've ever looked. I mean how many days of your life do you have a gazillion pictures of you, a party for 200 of your closest friends, and wear one of, no the, most expensive dress you'll ever wear. Yeah, like once.

So why not look, amazing! Here are some tips:

• Be patient with yourself. It will take time. But have a plan, a food plan, a work out plan.
• Have a goal. If you know you want to lose 10 pounds write that down.
• Keep a diary of what you eat and drink. It makes you more conscience of what you are putting in your mouth all day.
• Leave a little bit of food on your plate every time you eat, and if you feel control enough, leave 1/2 of your plate. If you do that everyday imagine how many calories you didn't eat!
• Be consistent and don't make excuses. Enough with "I'll start tomorrow, I have time." Start today, don't wait for Monday, that's just another day on the calendar. Just Do It!
•  

I am not a dietitian, I don't play one on TV, and I don't claim to be perfect (although, I am pretty darned close *wink*). I just know what I've done over the past months and what is working for me.
Attempt to lower your carb intake, up your lean protein and lower your fat intake and see where that takes you.

Good Luck!!!